Some things I didn’t know about coffee…
It is absolutely wonderful for you
and
McDonald’s Gourmet Coffee tastes better than Starbucks
Conclusion: McDonald’s Gourmet Coffee is both delicious and wards off diabetes, keeps me losing weight, makes my future children stronger, etc. I should drink it constantly.
Scenario: My friend Matt has, literally, thousands of free McDonald’s iced coffee coupons. This is the perfect scenario to enjoy delicious iced coffees that make me healthier, stronger and cost absolutely nothing, right?
Actual Result: WRONG!
Here’s what really happens:
- I drink two coffees at 2 am and have night terrors straight until dawn.
- After a long day of work, I slug down four consecutive coffees and lie in my bathtub, shaking and moaning incoherently.
- In the middle of the work day, I drink two coffees and spend the rest of the day watching YouTube videos of fat people
The Emp. Factor
As the coffee is hand mixed by McDonald’s employees, the quality of the mix is, at best, wildly inconsistent (digression: why they can’t machine automate this process is beyond me.) Regardless, as they’re free drinks, it’s gotten to the point where if the coffee is a bad mix, we’ll drop kick the bad cup and grab a fresh one.
In summary, it’s wonderful to live in the United States where there’s no wastefulness.
Arresting the Clown Prince of Coffee
Technorati Tags: mcdonald’s iced coffee, mcdonald’s employees, drop kick, U.S. wastefulness
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